Unexplodedscotsman.com

The Suprising Adventures of Sir Digby Chicken Caesar: Episode One

2008-03-26T20:35:00.004-06:00

Angus at 6 months

2008-03-24T10:41:00.003-06:00

The response: I'm Fucking Ben Affleck

2008-03-04T12:14:00.000-07:00

Sarah Silverman: I'm fucking Matt Damon

2008-02-26T16:06:00.001-07:00

Can't...stop...chewing!

2007-12-29T13:36:00.000-07:00

Finishing out the year with a teething Angus (our 12 week old staffy puppy)

Great seats. Good show

2007-10-31T15:25:00.001-06:00

Good article re: Stephen Colbert

2006-10-09T18:13:00.000-06:00

2006-09-26T18:08:00.000-06:00

A duck I met in Stanley Park

2006-09-22T15:10:00.000-06:00

From the would make a good t-shirt file

2006-05-16T12:38:00.000-06:00

"I'd have more empathy for me, if I were you"

Burning down the house

2005-02-06T16:37:00.001-07:00

Looks like they're having a very realistic fire drill over at Mount Royal College.

2005-02-06T16:35:00.000-07:00

2005-02-06T16:31:00.000-07:00

2005-02-06T16:30:00.000-07:00

Asian Tattoo Artist Inks Revenge Behind Bars

2005-02-01T16:37:00.000-07:00

“I wanted a stack of skulls on my back,” said murderer Jimmy Drake, “and that Asian prick gave me a giant Winnie the Pooh!”

Wow, a tattoo artist with a sense of humor and a death wish!

Adopt a Sniper

2004-11-18T13:02:00.000-07:00

"For only pennies a day, your donation could help put a bullet in the head of a wounded and unarmed Iraqi dissident."

US druggists refuse to give out birth control because of "moral values"

2004-11-10T13:08:00.000-07:00

This is classic.

"I'm sorry sir, but I refuse to fill this prescription as I believe God wanted you to have tuberculosis."

Police Blotter: November 4, 2004

2004-11-04T23:42:00.000-07:00

Unable to stand up to the spray's superior kung fu, the man staggered back into the house, where he was promptly taken into custody.

Funny stuff. This is the police blotter equivalent of the Daily Show. Check it out.

"No Child Left Behind" turns ugly

2004-11-04T20:09:00.000-07:00

LITTLE EGG HARBOR, N.J. (AP) - A National Guard F-16 fighter jet on a nighttime training mission strafed an elementary school with 25 rounds of ammunition, authorities said Thursday. No one was injured.

The military is investigating the incident that damaged Little Egg Harbor Intermediate School shortly after 11 p.m.

Police were called when a custodian who was the only person in the school at the time heard what sounded like someone running across the roof.

Bloody end to Christian challenge in the lions' den

2004-11-04T10:14:00.000-07:00

A man with "psychological problems" leapt into the lions' den at Taipei zoo yesterday to try to convert the king of beasts to Christianity.

He was bitten on the leg and arm for his efforts.

The intruder approaching the lions at Taipei zoo

"Jesus will save you!" the 46-year-old man shouted at two lions lounging under a tree a few yards away at Taiwan's main zoo.

"Come bite me!" he shouted, with both hands raised. And they did. Without panicking, the man fell back on a stone ridge, as one lion jumped at him, biting him in the arm. It then clawed at his trousers before retreating in a scene captured by television news cameras.

Guards and other zoo workers were alerted by the crowd and drove the lions away with water hoses.

Police shot the animals with tranquilliser darts.

The man, identified only by his surname, Chen, then calmly picked up his jacket and climbed out of the pen. He was taken to hospital for tests. "He had bite marks both at the front and back of his leg," Dr Wang Yao-ching said.

Teng Hui-wen, a psychiatrist, said Chen had psychological problems.

"He took this dangerous action today because he imagined he heard voices," Dr Teng said.

Last night Chen was under observation in hospital.

Fuck handing out the Watchtower, this guys proselytizing to predators. I'm impressed. And I’m also pretty sure we can leave out the quotes around “psychological problems.”

What can we learn from this? Three things, I guess:

Lions are very accommodating. He asked them to bite him, and they did.

I’m not the only one who reacts badly to being woken up by these clowns.

Self serve has gone too far. Bagging your own groceries was just the start. Now we’ve got Christians throwing themselves to the lions.

The people get the government they deserve?

2004-11-03T19:28:00.000-07:00

Help Bush celebrate the win by sending him a gift from Amazon.com!

MS Mad With Power Wizard v3.0

2004-11-01T11:00:00.000-07:00

One cup of coffee a day 'risky'

2004-10-21T16:41:00.000-06:00

BBC NEWS | Health | One cup of coffee a day 'risky'

Three days after they open a Tim Hortons in my office building. Now I have easy access to half-decent coffee, that will apparently kill me. Wonderful.

Scott's random insult #2073

2004-10-03T18:30:00.000-06:00

I'd challenge you to a duel, but I never got around to learning the banjo

Now is the time

2004-09-11T13:59:00.000-06:00

On Wed, 08 Sep 2004 12:23:57 GMT, Black Jacque Shellacque wrote: Why didn't any of you Saddam supporters join the Republican Guard to defend Iraq against the invading Americans? You seemed keen enough on supporting this tyrant.

Exactly. You're either with us or against us. This is a time for patriotism and hyperbole, not cognition.

On Thu, 09 Sep 2004 01:15:51 GMT, "veranda" wrote:
Are you being sarcastic?

With enemies of freedom around, now is not a time for sarcasm. Now is a time for action, not reflection.

On Thu, 09 Sep 2004 19:55:52 GMT, "veranda" wrote:
Wouldn't be wise to first make sure who the enemy is?

Now is not the time for surety. Now is the time for action.

Look, fighting terror is complicated. It's messy, and it's incredibly time-intensive. If we're to win, we need to get moving. We need to quite wasting time arguing about the best way to get there. Or the terrorists will get there first.

What we need is a take charge kind of guy. Someone who's not afraid to tell the family to STFU and get in the truck. Someone who's not going waste time stopping for coffee, or asking for directions. Someone strong enough to drive all through the night. That's right, we need a hero.

It's like in the movie Cannonball Run. You didn't see Burt Reynolds and Dom DeLuise planning; you see them doing. It's an action movie and these are men of action. Talk is over-rated. Besides, it's not like we can phone them up and say, "Hey, Abdula. Are you an enemy of freedom?" Because, you can't trust the terrorists. They lie.

Make no mistake, this is war. And in times of war, sometimes innocent people get hurt. It's the price of doing business in a dangerous world. Look at Iraq, maybe you can argue they were never a threat to use, but you can't argue they didn't have oil.

And really, besides seabirds, who doesn't like oil?