Adopt a Sniper

"For only pennies a day, your donation could help put a bullet in the head of a wounded and unarmed Iraqi dissident."

US druggists refuse to give out birth control because of "moral values"

This is classic.

"I'm sorry sir, but I refuse to fill this prescription as I believe God wanted you to have tuberculosis."

Police Blotter: November 4, 2004

Unable to stand up to the spray's superior kung fu, the man staggered back into the house, where he was promptly taken into custody.

Funny stuff. This is the police blotter equivalent of the Daily Show. Check it out.

"No Child Left Behind" turns ugly

LITTLE EGG HARBOR, N.J. (AP) - A National Guard F-16 fighter jet on a nighttime training mission strafed an elementary school with 25 rounds of ammunition, authorities said Thursday. No one was injured.

The military is investigating the incident that damaged Little Egg Harbor Intermediate School shortly after 11 p.m.

Police were called when a custodian who was the only person in the school at the time heard what sounded like someone running across the roof.

Bloody end to Christian challenge in the lions' den

A man with "psychological problems" leapt into the lions' den at Taipei zoo yesterday to try to convert the king of beasts to Christianity.

He was bitten on the leg and arm for his efforts.

The intruder approaching the lions at Taipei zoo

"Jesus will save you!" the 46-year-old man shouted at two lions lounging under a tree a few yards away at Taiwan's main zoo.

"Come bite me!" he shouted, with both hands raised. And they did. Without panicking, the man fell back on a stone ridge, as one lion jumped at him, biting him in the arm. It then clawed at his trousers before retreating in a scene captured by television news cameras.

Guards and other zoo workers were alerted by the crowd and drove the lions away with water hoses.

Police shot the animals with tranquilliser darts.

The man, identified only by his surname, Chen, then calmly picked up his jacket and climbed out of the pen. He was taken to hospital for tests. "He had bite marks both at the front and back of his leg," Dr Wang Yao-ching said.

Teng Hui-wen, a psychiatrist, said Chen had psychological problems.

"He took this dangerous action today because he imagined he heard voices," Dr Teng said.

Last night Chen was under observation in hospital.

Fuck handing out the Watchtower, this guys proselytizing to predators. I'm impressed. And I’m also pretty sure we can leave out the quotes around “psychological problems.”

What can we learn from this? Three things, I guess:

Lions are very accommodating. He asked them to bite him, and they did.

I’m not the only one who reacts badly to being woken up by these clowns.

Self serve has gone too far. Bagging your own groceries was just the start. Now we’ve got Christians throwing themselves to the lions.

The people get the government they deserve?

Help Bush celebrate the win by sending him a gift from Amazon.com!

MS Mad With Power Wizard v3.0